Speak Out talks to Leeza,
Writer of “Straight Up”
I will tell you that my name is Leeza and I am 40+ years old, straight, white, female, with a 22 year old son named Richard who attends Marshall University. When I was born my parents lived on a little farm in Pennsylvania but when I was 8 months old we moved to East Liverpool, OH where I have lived every since.
At 9 months old my father found me sitting in my stroller in the front yard and my mother nowhere to be found, she had simply left me and walked away. At last knowledge of her, she lived in Indiana somewhere and was remarried to a man who had 5 children to his previous wife. I was taken in to the main house on the farm and the woman who co-owned the farm helped to raise me. She was a wonderful woman who treated me like her own child. So, I actually ended up with the best of both worlds, a gentle loving father who doted on me and a mother who loved me.
I have many interests and hobbies. I enjoy photography, writing, crocheting, painting, making angels, and doing things with my son. I like almost any kind of music, depending on my mood or the atmosphere. I love to watch movies and am just starting to appreciate the ones of a horror genre. My main goal each day is to say or do something for someone else that makes them smile and maybe lifts their spirits. I have been everything from a youth group worker at my church, to room mother for my son’s class in school, to band mom and made sure everyone had full uniforms, to the tooth fairy (when in 2nd grade my son informed his class his mother was the tooth fairy). I thoroughly enjoy meeting people and talking online, getting to meet them in real life is a definite plus and I am always thrilled to do so.
I have been asked several times why I come into a gay men’s chat room so here is the explanation: I first came in the Northern West Virginia room of gay.com at the request of my cousin who wanted me to meet some of his friends. I met several nice people and began to chat, meeting and getting to know more people each day. I now chat in the Southern room and have made many wonderful friends who I cherish and have actually got to meet several in person.
Although I am a Christian I do not judge anyone’s lifestyle. I do not preach hell and damnation to anyone. I simply use my values to raise my son and try to teach him right from wrong and how to treat others. I avoid conflict as often as possible and would much rather make a new friend than to fight or abuse someone else. I have made a few friends in my lifetime who I have grown to love who, when we first met, were actually quite rude to me. But after looking at what lies beneath their gruff angry exterior I have found a really genuinely nice person.
WVQN sat down with Leeza, and asked her some questions about herself, her life, and her column and this is what she had to say.
WVQN: Describe the first encounter you had with a gay person. What was your reaction?
Leeza: The first encounter I had with a gay person was when I was in college and I went with a friend of mine to visit a couple he knew, who just so happened to be two men. They were extremely nice and we had a great time and so it was really very enjoyable. I didn’t think of them as gay or straight, they were just a friendly loving couple.
WVQN: How has the way you feel about lesbian, gay, bi and transgender people changed since then?
Leeza: It really hasn’t changed much. I don’t look at people as gay or straight, black or white or anything else. I look at them as a person and try not to judge their lifestyle or appearance. If anything I have gained a deeper understanding of the lifestyle, although I know I have a lot more to learn, I would like to think that I am growing as a person.
WVQN: How did you become associated with the magazine?
Leeza: I began chatting in gay.com because my cousin invited me into the rooms to meet his friends and I met several people, one of whom was Terry and one day he approached me about taking over Straight Up because the woman he had writting it before had left. At first I wasn’t sure I would be able to do the job since I am not a writer, but I think I am managing very well. So far.
WVQN: How has this experience and these people changed your life?
Leeza: Through researching topics for my articles I have been made to pay attention to events and things that until now I haven’t really paid attention to before. I find myself noticing the gay or lesbian characters in movies and television programs and sometimes becoming angry at the stereotypes that they use to create them.
WVQN: You write from the heart and the community loves your work. What is it that you think makes the LGBT community respond so well to a straight woman’s writing?
Leeza: I am glad to hear that I have been accepted into the community through my writing, since I don’t here from the majority of the readers I sometimes wonder if anybody actually reads what I write. *giggles* I think the one major reason why I have had such a positive response is because I do not use my column to batter the community with holier than thou Bible thumping hell and damnation rantings. I don’t try to change anyone or pass judgement, my articles are always positive and I try to bridge the gap between the gay and straight worlds with understanding and knowledge and support. There are enough people in this world who are pointing fingers and telling you that your lifestyle is wrong.
WVQN: What advice would you give a parent of a gay child who is having tough time accepting their child’s sexual orientation?
Leeza: Only what I have said that I would do if my own son told me that he was gay: This is your child, the same one that you have loved all their life, and if the person they have chosen to spend their life with happens to be of the same sex, as long as they are good to them and love them and treat them right, their sex shouldn’t matter.
WVQN: What single phrase or quote best describes your philosophy on life?
Leeza: I don’t have to like or approve of your lifestyle to like you and grow to love you as a person.
WVQN: What have been some of the negative responses to you from the community and how have you dealt with them?
Leeza: I have been told that I don’t belong in a gay MEN’s chat room and asked why I don’t go and chat in a lesbian room. My response to that was to tell the person that they hurt my feelings, not so much because of what they said but because they were someone I looked at as a friend and then I stopped going in that room to chat. I also had someone who I again thought was my friend who called me 7 times in one day wanting me to go somewhere. I kept telling them that I didn’t have the money to go but they kept saying they would cover me cause they really wanted me to go, they wanted me to see the show because I had never watched a drag show before. Several days later I was sent copies of chat in the room where this person was telling everyone in the room that I made them pay for my way and never offered to help with gas or parking or anything and that I expected them to pay my way in and to buy me drinks. Anyone who knows me at all knows that I don’t drink alchohol so to expect someone to buy me drinks is in itself not the truth. Rather than force a confrontation with this person, I simply chose to not go anywhere with them ever again. I am not a person who uses other people and after that, if I cannot pay my own way somewhere, I no longer accept invitations.
WVQN: Tell us about some of your own challenges in life. How have bad times made you a stronger and, ultimately, a better and wiser person?
Leeza: I have had many challenges in my life from my husband’s affair to physical and emotional problems but rather than go into detail and whine I would rather talk about the positive. Out of every experience I have had in my life, either good or bad, I hope that I have taken part of what happened and turned it into something positive. Each day is a learning experience and my desire is that with each one I can grow and learn from the mistakes. Many days are a challenge to just make it through the day without tears, as I suffer from GAD (general anxiety disorder) and depression. But, I don’t use that or any of my physical problems to gain sympathy or try to make believe that I am special because I have a problem.
WVQN: Who do you most admire in the world and why? The person I admire most in the world is my son Richard. Why?
Leeza: Because since he was a small child he had a goal set to be first in his graduating class, to go to college, to get a good education that would lead to a good job. When he was 12 years old, I pinched my sciatic nerve in my back and was unable to even do daily chores to take care of myself. He would do the laundry and make meals, wash dishes and even brush my hair and tie my shoes. He never complained. He worked hard all through school and graduated valedictorian. He has worked hard and paid mostly for school all on his own. He has high moral standards and a very level head on his shoulders. He will be graduating this summer from Marshall University with a major in psychology and a minor in forensics. Everything my son has accomplished in his life has come from his hard work and his sheer determination. He makes me proud for so many reasons and I learn so much from him every day.
All in all, Leeza is a strong representation of what the community needs to recognize as the roots of who we should be. More compassioniate, understanding, and willing to see the world for its beauty not its differences.
Thank you Leeza for taking the time to talk to WV Queer News and continue wowing the readers with your weekly column “Straight Up”.
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